Happiness, Inspiration, Life, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Personal Development, Relationships

Time to Stop Reacting and Start Acting

I’ve wasted way too much time and energy on reacting to words or actions from people. The worst part is that it is the people who deserve the least that seem to get the biggest reaction out of me. Seriously? I have wasted so much time and energy on people who aren’t even worth a minute of my time, the ones who literally add no value to my life whatsoever.

I am in control of my reaction to a situation or a person, and I am going to stop reacting to nonsense. Time is life’s most valuable commodity, and I am wasting it on meaningless situations and purposeless people. I have recently learnt that surrounding myself with like-minded, driven people who have positive energy and add value to my life is so important. People who drive me and make me want to succeed are the best people to keep around me. Wasting time and energy on negative people with bad habits that try to bring me down at every opportunity need to go. My obligation to long-term friendships and relationships that aren’t healthy to me has become very obvious to me of late and it is time for me to stop the cycle. I have no obligation to unhealthy company and people who do not motivate me and have a positive influence in my life.

Right here, right now I am pledging to stop reacting to futile people and situations. I am from now on, focusing all energy on my goals and aspirations. I am going places and will not be side tracked at all. All distractions will be removed from my life and I will only be moving up from here. Reacting in anger or despair has only affected me negatively and kept me from having my eyes, mind and heart firmly fixed on my goals. Anger only damages me, and I will no longer allow it in my life. I am letting go of anger and negativity and people who cause it. My eyes have been opened wide in the last couple of weeks and I have been given an incredible drive as well as an awareness about how I allow people to affect my life and my goals. I am more focused than ever, and I am going to make things happen. I have been blessed with incredible new experiences, and I am learning new and exciting things every day. I am so excited about the future and what is in stall for me. I know what I want in my life, I have goals, and I am driven, it is time to start acting and go and get what I deserve! My time is precious, and I am using it for me!

To quote Joel Osteen:
“You need to associate with people that inspire you, people that challenge you to rise higher, people that make you better. Don’t waste your valuable time with people that are not adding to your growth. Your destiny is too important.” His words are true and very much relevant in my life today.

I have to take accountability for myself and my choices and cutting out people who don’t add value in my life has become incredibly important to me. I need to stop worrying about how I am hurting people by letting go and start thinking about how I am hurting myself by holding on. I have been too soft and too giving for too long and the only person who has suffered for it is me. Letting go of negative people is the way forward in my life, and I am starting now.

Negative people have one thing in common, they love bringing people down. Negative people never keep their negativity to themselves, and they feel the need to spread it around and manifest it wherever they go.

No matter what you say, the company that you keep influences your decisions and choices so keep the right company. You cannot place the blame on the company you keep, place the blame on yourself for choosing to keep the company that you do.

Putting me first is my main priority. Looking after me means choosing the right people to hang around and cutting out those that are not healthy for me. Wasted time can never be regained and wasted energy is draining and taking focus off my goals.

There are so many positive people in my life, but yet so many negative people as well. I have started identifying the negative people and I have to let go. These people are obstacles in my life, and they are diverting and distracting my focus and I have allowed it up until now.

“Bad company corrupts good character.” — this quote comes to mind. I am not sure who wrote it, but I came across it recently. The truth is that when you surround yourself with trash, you become trash.

My choice of company has led me to this discovery and revelation in my life. I have chosen to have the wrong people in my life, and I am fully aware of the damage it has caused up until now. It is up to me to change the company I keep and cut out the rubbish. Where I am going, there is no space for rubbish, only blue diamonds. I am no longer wasting time on stones, I am here to find diamonds and make the magic I want to happen in my life.

Life is a gift, and I am going to show my appreciation by going big and achieving my goals, taking the life I want and deserve and making it mine!

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Children, Family, Happiness, Inspiration, Kids, Life, Love, Parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized

The joy as two perfect soul mates unite and an extraordinary, a little crazy family reunite



My baby cousin (not so much of a baby anymore, but the baby of the cousins nevertheless) had decided to get hitched in Cape Town. My cousin, Kerry-Jane was to marry her bae, Graham. I flew to Cape Town a couple of days early to fit some work in and catch up with a few friends. Cape Town is an exquisite place. Its beauty captivates me from the moment I arrive to the moment I leave. Cape Town is a very special place and of course Table Mountain is one of the 7 wonders of the world in the Nature category. When I am in Cape Town and driving around, I can always see Table Mountain. I have never looked around in Cape Town and not been able to see Table Mountain. I am truly proud of this beautiful part of my country. When I arrived, I went to my friend’s place on a farm near Paarl.

I spent a lovely evening with him and his wife chatting and catching up. I was off to training the next morning and then went to a friend and his son, who is a very close friend of my son and has spent large amounts of time in my house over the years. I had a wonderful evening catching up and chatting to them, and we shared lots of laughs and many a random and even strange story. On Saturday, my Aunt and one of my God Mothers, Aunty Barbara came to collect me to take me to the Bed and Breakfast where I was to spend my night after the wedding. I chose to stay in the same B&B as my aunt so that we could spend some time together. We spent the day being rather lazy and then got ready for the big wedding. After deciding on the purple dress instead of the red dress, I was ready and on my way with my aunt to the venue.

 

The wedding venue was the divine Cellars-Hohenort Hotel in Constantia Heights, Cape Town. On arrival, I quickly recognized the groom, Graham from social media and myself and my aunt introduced ourselves. Graham is a lovely, attractive gentleman who looked quite nervous, but he was friendly, well-mannered and accommodating. As we were directed to the greeting area, I was filled with a sudden feeling of excitement and delight. The realization that I would be seeing family members for the first time in years, was almost overwhelming in a good way. We walked towards a table, jugs of water and glasses and a few people were standing around. It was a lovely afternoon; the sky was blue and the sun shining. The venue was charming and the staff welcoming and friendly. I looked around to see if I could see my mom and dad or any of my family but no one I knew had arrived yet. My uncle and the proud father of the bride walked towards us to greet us, and he looked incredibly nervous. He is a quiet man and not normally very talkative, but he was so quiet, I could almost feel his nerves. Eventually I said: “Uncle Ernest, you seem more nervous than the groom”. He answered quietly: “I probably am”. My Aunty Barbara responded: “He is the one giving her away, the groom is gaining her”. Shortly after that the rest of the family started arriving. Uncle Seth and Aunty Shirley first, then Uncle Alan who had driven my mom and dad there.

Aunty Daphne and my cousin Robyn were obviously with the bride getting ready. I had waited for my cousin, Christine to arrive with her mom and my Aunt,

Aunty Mary, who is my other God mother. Christine and I are close, we have an affectionate friendship. I am the God mother to her beautiful youngest daughter and self-proclaimed God mother to her oldest daughter since my brother and his wife (her God parents) left for Canada. My family and I walked across the green grass and down the stairs to the rows of simple yet elegant white chairs at the exquisite arch that was apparently hand crafted by Graham and Kerry-Jane that stood in front of white chairs set out in the divine garden and the sun kissing my face as we went to find our seats. I still couldn’t see Christine, so I messaged her to say I was in front and had kept seats for her and her mom. Christine and Mary arrived, and we waited in anticipation for the beautiful bride. I had not seen either Robyn or Kerry-Jane for years and could not wait to catch a glimpse. Robyn and Carey (Kerry-Jane’s bestie and Robyn’s fellow bridesmaid) came down the aisle first, sparking the excitement. When I saw uncle Ernest and Kerry-Jane behind us at the back end of the aisle, I was literally breathless. Kerry-Jane is absolutely captivating and Uncle Ernest looking very anxious, about to give his baby girl away. The service was heartfelt and touching and the nervous bride and groom giggled at one point which seemed to calm Graham’s nerves slightly. Although he claimed to Kerry-Jane that he had not been nervous, he was shaking at one point so of course I made mention of that to her because it was very sweet. After

the I do’s the couple and witnesses went inside to sign the register and Christine and I filled our hands with rose petals, eagerly awaiting the couple’s return outside and down the stairs.

 

The crisp blue sky started warming into a slightly more grey-blueas dusk was slowly setting in. Aunty Daphne and Uncle Ernest walked through the doorway and down the stairs, smiles so broad, showing off their absolute joy, delight and pride. As the couple and wedding party disappeared for photographs, Christine and I headed to the champagne table for a glass of champagne. While we stood taking photos, chatting and giggling, the sun started going down on the horizon. The euphoric Cape Town sky captured my eye as the exquisite orange and purple boasted the beauty of a true African sunset. We were directed into the hall where the reception would be held. The tables beautifully decorated and the place-name cards hand-made by Kerry-Jane. I sat next to a lovely couple from Bloemfontein, now living in Cape Town and Christine on the other side. Surrounded by my parents, Aunty Mary, Uncle Alan, Uncle Seth and Aunty Shirley. I think I ate most of the bread in a basket on the table, I was quite hungry by that stage (although I am always hungry). The starters and mains were served quite quickly. The lamb, which both Christine and I chose as our main, was succulent and tender, simply but elegantly presented. Speeches were delivered after mains and each speech special and personal. My favourite was the gorgeous Carey’s speech. “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” The first dance was Uncle Ernest, Dad and his beautiful daughter. My heart sang with delight as I watched the two dances. Then the groom joined his brand-new wife on the dance floor and my face lit up with a wide smile, I felt absolutely blessed to have been part of this incredible, joyous occasion. Getting to know my aunts, uncles and cousin again as an adult was an extraordinary experience. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to spend quality time with my family that I don’t get to see often. We had lunch at Marina

Whalf on Sunday for Mom’s birthday and again, I felt elated as I got to spend more quality time with my extended family. I walked down to meet “Pietie” the tame seal, I was absolutely terrified as his owner encouraged me to sit next to him and touch him. I did eventually touch him, and it was really an amazing experience and I escaped with all my fingers and in one piece after all the reluctance, as if I expected to lose my nose. The Sunday afternoon and evening were exceptionally special as I spent it with Uncle Alan. We shared lots of chatting and a few giggles and some red wine. We went for a walk on the beach with his two Scottish terriers. I took my shoes off to feel the soft sand under my feet, far different to the sand in Durban, which is much more course and a lot darker. The sand was almost white with a hint of grey, the sea was calm and turquoise in as the waves slowly stroked the sand. The sky started turning purple as a few thin white clouds came in, moving quickly across the sky. I love the smell of the sea and the salty breeze hitting my skin. The Scotties squeaky barks at huge dogs, I joked as I said that they thought their little squeaky bark was intimidating to the massive dogs running past. When he dropped me at the airport he thanked me and said that he had never really had the opportunity to spend quality time with me as an adult. As I landed in the hustle and bustle that is Joburg, I felt so incredibly blessed to have been part of the union of these two beautiful souls and part of the reunion of an incredible, diverse family. Each person in my family is a completely different person and together we are a phenomenal family, all unique but all special and most of all, all tremendously blessed.