- The best thing for me and everyone that I love is to put me first– It is no secret that I am a people pleaser but to give of myself I need to have of me to give, not putting myself first has affected me and my loved ones adversely. As long as I can remember, I have always put people before me. I am the first to volunteer to arrange anything from a baby shower to birthday party. I remember a time when I was running from one event to the next to make everyone happy. I had become completely exhausted and depressed because I had nothing left of me for myself and was spending all of my energy on everyone else. Obviously, I had made it my duty to please everyone and I kept telling myself that loved ones should come first. The truth is that I have to come first in order to be able to give the best to my children and the people who I love. My entire life I have made decisions based on others. I have stayed in the wrong situations for people, instead of getting out of these situations for me. This has been a tough year for me and I have had to put my foot down, put myself first and stop giving my all at the detriment of myself and others around me. Once I began making decisions based on me first, I suddenly was in a happy space and everyone around me was suddenly happier as well. When I put myself first, I have more to give and I am living a fulfilling life and those closest to me benefit greatly. Putting me first is not being selfish but rather being fair. This for me is still a work in progress because I am quick to put others first, but I have taken leaps in the right direction and definitely am getting better every day and I am constantly making conscious choices and decisions that put me first in my life.
- I can no longer keep the wrong people for me in my life– The truth is you become like the people you choose to share your company with. I had a number of toxic people that were in my life and they were not good for me at all. I made bad decisions because of the company that I had been keeping and I was putting the wrong people before myself and before the right people. I have had to put my foot down here and keep it down. If people are bad for me, then they do not belong in my life. It is important to be the best me that I can be and anyone who does not allow me to be my best or keeps me from achieving my goals is not worth having in my life. It is not being a bitch, it is being real and painting the picture of my life that I want without being distracted.
- I cannot allow people’s opinions and judgement on other people to stop me from getting to know someone– I formed opinions on one person in particular based on what others had said about this person. I took the time to get to know the person for myself and realised that I had been wrongly informed and misguided. I cannot allow other people to form my opinions because it is not fair, and I could end up not missing out on having good people in my life, this would be absolutely tragic. People are entitled to their own opinions, I am entitled to form my own. I have also stopped listening as people start speaking in a negative or nasty way about others. I don’t care what people think about other people and if it is nasty then I don’t want to know. Like mom always said: “if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it” and most importantly don’t entertain it when people are mean.
- No matter how hard I fall or however terrible the situation seems, it is only as bad as I allow my mind to make it– As I mentioned, I have had a hard year so far. There have been big obstacles and I have had to make huge changes and hard decisions to make. When I have been at my lowest my mind has somehow seen the light at the end of the tunnel. I remember years back, sitting in a Doctors room, feeling miserable, sick and very sorry for myself when I noticed a book on the table. I stood up and bent down to pick up the small white book with navy blue writing on the cover. It was a book of “feel good” quotes. I read “Don’t forget to sing in the life boats”. Suddenly I felt like a I was being a real brat. In my mind I pictured a big ship sinking, people were standing with orange life jackets over their shoulders and fastened around their waists. They were being helped into life boats, some crying, some screaming and some pushing and shoving. I pictured one man with chubby, rosy cheeks, dark hair and a beard sitting in one of the boats. The man began to sing in my mind and suddenly the storm seemed distant and people were instantly relaxed and calm. You create the reaction to a situation and only you can control your reaction and how you deal with it. Breathe, think and then react in best way for you. Always see the light even in a dark night.
- In business and making money, thinking outside of the box and not limiting myself is the way forward– I have learned that there are many ways to make money and to make business work. I have had to diversify my thinking and seize opportunity that really are everywhere. The future is bright and there is so much opportunity to take advantage of if I just stop limiting myself and get out of the box. Thinking outside of the norm and paving the way to a successful future is what I have learned to do.