Children, Family, Happiness, Inspiration, Kids, Life, Love, Parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized

The joy as two perfect soul mates unite and an extraordinary, a little crazy family reunite



My baby cousin (not so much of a baby anymore, but the baby of the cousins nevertheless) had decided to get hitched in Cape Town. My cousin, Kerry-Jane was to marry her bae, Graham. I flew to Cape Town a couple of days early to fit some work in and catch up with a few friends. Cape Town is an exquisite place. Its beauty captivates me from the moment I arrive to the moment I leave. Cape Town is a very special place and of course Table Mountain is one of the 7 wonders of the world in the Nature category. When I am in Cape Town and driving around, I can always see Table Mountain. I have never looked around in Cape Town and not been able to see Table Mountain. I am truly proud of this beautiful part of my country. When I arrived, I went to my friend’s place on a farm near Paarl.

I spent a lovely evening with him and his wife chatting and catching up. I was off to training the next morning and then went to a friend and his son, who is a very close friend of my son and has spent large amounts of time in my house over the years. I had a wonderful evening catching up and chatting to them, and we shared lots of laughs and many a random and even strange story. On Saturday, my Aunt and one of my God Mothers, Aunty Barbara came to collect me to take me to the Bed and Breakfast where I was to spend my night after the wedding. I chose to stay in the same B&B as my aunt so that we could spend some time together. We spent the day being rather lazy and then got ready for the big wedding. After deciding on the purple dress instead of the red dress, I was ready and on my way with my aunt to the venue.

 

The wedding venue was the divine Cellars-Hohenort Hotel in Constantia Heights, Cape Town. On arrival, I quickly recognized the groom, Graham from social media and myself and my aunt introduced ourselves. Graham is a lovely, attractive gentleman who looked quite nervous, but he was friendly, well-mannered and accommodating. As we were directed to the greeting area, I was filled with a sudden feeling of excitement and delight. The realization that I would be seeing family members for the first time in years, was almost overwhelming in a good way. We walked towards a table, jugs of water and glasses and a few people were standing around. It was a lovely afternoon; the sky was blue and the sun shining. The venue was charming and the staff welcoming and friendly. I looked around to see if I could see my mom and dad or any of my family but no one I knew had arrived yet. My uncle and the proud father of the bride walked towards us to greet us, and he looked incredibly nervous. He is a quiet man and not normally very talkative, but he was so quiet, I could almost feel his nerves. Eventually I said: “Uncle Ernest, you seem more nervous than the groom”. He answered quietly: “I probably am”. My Aunty Barbara responded: “He is the one giving her away, the groom is gaining her”. Shortly after that the rest of the family started arriving. Uncle Seth and Aunty Shirley first, then Uncle Alan who had driven my mom and dad there.

Aunty Daphne and my cousin Robyn were obviously with the bride getting ready. I had waited for my cousin, Christine to arrive with her mom and my Aunt,

Aunty Mary, who is my other God mother. Christine and I are close, we have an affectionate friendship. I am the God mother to her beautiful youngest daughter and self-proclaimed God mother to her oldest daughter since my brother and his wife (her God parents) left for Canada. My family and I walked across the green grass and down the stairs to the rows of simple yet elegant white chairs at the exquisite arch that was apparently hand crafted by Graham and Kerry-Jane that stood in front of white chairs set out in the divine garden and the sun kissing my face as we went to find our seats. I still couldn’t see Christine, so I messaged her to say I was in front and had kept seats for her and her mom. Christine and Mary arrived, and we waited in anticipation for the beautiful bride. I had not seen either Robyn or Kerry-Jane for years and could not wait to catch a glimpse. Robyn and Carey (Kerry-Jane’s bestie and Robyn’s fellow bridesmaid) came down the aisle first, sparking the excitement. When I saw uncle Ernest and Kerry-Jane behind us at the back end of the aisle, I was literally breathless. Kerry-Jane is absolutely captivating and Uncle Ernest looking very anxious, about to give his baby girl away. The service was heartfelt and touching and the nervous bride and groom giggled at one point which seemed to calm Graham’s nerves slightly. Although he claimed to Kerry-Jane that he had not been nervous, he was shaking at one point so of course I made mention of that to her because it was very sweet. After

the I do’s the couple and witnesses went inside to sign the register and Christine and I filled our hands with rose petals, eagerly awaiting the couple’s return outside and down the stairs.

 

The crisp blue sky started warming into a slightly more grey-blueas dusk was slowly setting in. Aunty Daphne and Uncle Ernest walked through the doorway and down the stairs, smiles so broad, showing off their absolute joy, delight and pride. As the couple and wedding party disappeared for photographs, Christine and I headed to the champagne table for a glass of champagne. While we stood taking photos, chatting and giggling, the sun started going down on the horizon. The euphoric Cape Town sky captured my eye as the exquisite orange and purple boasted the beauty of a true African sunset. We were directed into the hall where the reception would be held. The tables beautifully decorated and the place-name cards hand-made by Kerry-Jane. I sat next to a lovely couple from Bloemfontein, now living in Cape Town and Christine on the other side. Surrounded by my parents, Aunty Mary, Uncle Alan, Uncle Seth and Aunty Shirley. I think I ate most of the bread in a basket on the table, I was quite hungry by that stage (although I am always hungry). The starters and mains were served quite quickly. The lamb, which both Christine and I chose as our main, was succulent and tender, simply but elegantly presented. Speeches were delivered after mains and each speech special and personal. My favourite was the gorgeous Carey’s speech. “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” The first dance was Uncle Ernest, Dad and his beautiful daughter. My heart sang with delight as I watched the two dances. Then the groom joined his brand-new wife on the dance floor and my face lit up with a wide smile, I felt absolutely blessed to have been part of this incredible, joyous occasion. Getting to know my aunts, uncles and cousin again as an adult was an extraordinary experience. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to spend quality time with my family that I don’t get to see often. We had lunch at Marina

Whalf on Sunday for Mom’s birthday and again, I felt elated as I got to spend more quality time with my extended family. I walked down to meet “Pietie” the tame seal, I was absolutely terrified as his owner encouraged me to sit next to him and touch him. I did eventually touch him, and it was really an amazing experience and I escaped with all my fingers and in one piece after all the reluctance, as if I expected to lose my nose. The Sunday afternoon and evening were exceptionally special as I spent it with Uncle Alan. We shared lots of chatting and a few giggles and some red wine. We went for a walk on the beach with his two Scottish terriers. I took my shoes off to feel the soft sand under my feet, far different to the sand in Durban, which is much more course and a lot darker. The sand was almost white with a hint of grey, the sea was calm and turquoise in as the waves slowly stroked the sand. The sky started turning purple as a few thin white clouds came in, moving quickly across the sky. I love the smell of the sea and the salty breeze hitting my skin. The Scotties squeaky barks at huge dogs, I joked as I said that they thought their little squeaky bark was intimidating to the massive dogs running past. When he dropped me at the airport he thanked me and said that he had never really had the opportunity to spend quality time with me as an adult. As I landed in the hustle and bustle that is Joburg, I felt so incredibly blessed to have been part of the union of these two beautiful souls and part of the reunion of an incredible, diverse family. Each person in my family is a completely different person and together we are a phenomenal family, all unique but all special and most of all, all tremendously blessed.

 

Advertisements
Family, Happiness, Inspiration, Life, Love, Relationships, Uncategorized

The incredible love in the touch of a blind man

My Grandpa fought in the second world war, he served at Montgomery in the western desert, with the Cape Town Highlands. My Grandpa met his beautiful soul-mate, Irish lass, Margaret Greenlees in Cape Town. Fate played a huge part in him meeting his Queen. When I say fate played a huge part, I say this because Granny was never meant to end up in South Africa. When Granny was a little girl, her dad left Belfast on a ship to go to Australia. His plan was for him, his wife and two daughters to start their new life in Australia. Fate had a different idea. Fate decided that the ship would dock in Cape Town. My Gran’s dad was completely taken by the beauty of Cape Town and he telegraphed his wife to tell her to bring the girls and come to Cape Town and that is how Granny landed up in South Africa. Grandpa married his Irish beauty; Madge and they began their life together. They had four children, My dad (Neville), Alwyn, Gary and their only daughter, Wendy. My Grandpa was a man, filled with character. He wrote and sang a song for each of his children, recorded on a tape which we now have on a CD.

My Grandpa worked very hard all his life and made a great life for his family. Granny was a house wife and her dedication to her husband and family was unmatched. She was a true lady in every sense of the word and she stood at Grandpa’s side all his days. Grandpa started gradually losing his eye site. I remember him explaining to me when I was a little girl that he could see me, but only in the form of a shadow.

I spent a lot of time with my Grandpa, we had an incredible bond. I would sit on his lap for hours and insist on sleeping over at their house. Grandpa had been incredibly proud of his children and his grandchildren were dearly loved by him. He knew us all by our voices and would ask Granny to explain what we were wearing and how we had grown. He was absolutely besotted with each one of us and would carefully watch how we were growing, through his hands.

I remember my Granny bought him a watch that he could push a button and it would tell him the time in a lady’s voice. The amount that he took in just by listening was incredible. He was always ahead on all of the facts and everything that was going on in our lives. Every moment he had with us, was deeply appreciated by him and the air was filled with a peace and love when we entered a room where he was sitting.

My Grandpa had a great love and appreciation for the Irish heritage of his wife and his love for her was one of a kind. The bond that they shared was something that was appreciated by everyone who met them and obvious to all that their love was true.

Every time I walked into the house I would run up to my Grandpa and he would put his hand on my head and see how much I had grown. There is no way of explaining what happened when his hand touched me. There was a love that was passed through his hand to me. It was an incredible thing, I could feel his love for me through his touch. Energy is transferred through the hands as we know from reiki, healing through touch by energy transfer. But I know what I felt was love. Chatting to my cousin recently, he said he felt it too and remembers the love that he felt through my Grandpa’s hands and touch.

We could not see the love he had for us through his eyes, but we could feel it through his touch. What an incredible experience we had, feeling the love he had for us from his caring touch. So deep was the touch of his love that we remember it so well and smile as we share the memory of it.

Recently I saw a friend who did some work on my back. In his words, “energy can be transferred from one person to another. When we are in harmony, we call it love.” I know without a doubt at all that what I felt through Grandpa’s touch was love. A pure, intense affection that I have only ever felt from him.

Grandpa died when I was 19 on the 1st of April, leaving a massive void but a family blessed to have shared a life with the astonishing man that was Richard(Dickie) Roberts.

My Granny cried as she told me the words that he had told her before he died: “I can’t be a burden on you anymore my Madge”. She had told me that he had never been a burden, though he was blind and that she would have chosen to keep him by her side if she had the choice.

In Grandpa’s death I found the most extraordinary bond with the stunning woman that was my Granny. The night that my Grandpa left us, I slept next to my Granny and what followed was years of an intimate, profound connection between my Granny and me.

I was extremely fortunate to share such a deep bond with my Granny and the hours and hours of conversation was invaluable. No amount of money could have bought the stories of her childhood and life that she shared with me. We shared many a giggle and many a tear.

I know that my Grandpa would have been filled with pride and joy to see the affection which grew between me and my Granny with his passing. I was blessed by the touch of love from my Grandpa, the lasting memory of how his unfathomable love was felt, the undeniable comfort when he touched my head, my hand, my heart. And the blessing of the extinguished relationship that grew between his beautiful queen and his granddaughter who had always been the apple of his eye/ear.

Memories live forever, and the Monarch and Queen of the family will always be remembered for the sterling people that they were and how blessed we are to have had at the head of our family.

 

Children, Family, Kids, Life, Love, Mom, Parenting, Relationships, Uncategorized

Shove the drink, just give me the bottle! My baby girl is almost 18!

Before Trystan and Jaymee joined the nest, I was a single mom to Keegan, my then little boy. I had planned on no more children, I found being a single mom really difficult and I thought I would save it for the perfect moms out there and give having any more children a miss. If I had been told that I would foster two teenagers I would have never ever believed it. I was quite content with my life as it was. When I suddenly had two abused foster teenagers, things were suddenly very difficult, but I have been blessed beyond my wildest imagination. Having the foster children has been challenging at the best of times but incredibly rewarding. I would never change a thing, I love them dearly and they are my family. My life is complete with them in it.

I remember giving my dad grey hair as a teenager. Girls are a completely different kettle of fish, my poor dad had two of us. Girls are challenging to say the least and after giving my dad so much grief there was no way I was having a girl. But as it happened I was going to be given a twelve-year-old little blond Jaymee.

Boys are really simple, they have small problems and they are sorted out very easily. There is never drama around boys, they have little hurdles that are easy to get over. I have to say that my boys can shock me at the best of times. As a girl, boys do some really weird things. I grew up very close to my brother, Aidan – nicknamed Beans by me as a little boy because of his incessant need to repeat the “Beans, beans, they’re good for your heart” …we all know the rest of the rhyme! Beans and I were very close since we were little, but he constantly shocked me with the completely random and often off-putting things he did. Boys are strange in that way. Having said that to this day, I absolutely adore my brother, he is such an amazing guy and I am so lucky to have him as my brother and he makes me very proud. By the time Keegan came along I had seen it all with Beans, and I had time to adjust, growing up takes time and gives mom a chance to find my way and adapt.

Trystan and Jaymee joined the nest over 6 years ago now. Back then Jaymee was my beautiful princess. She was as sweet as maple syrup, then she became a teenager overnight. This ladies and gents was a scary time! I had a psychologist on call and oh boy, did I call her…all the time. Needless to say, she snapped out of the worst of it pretty quickly. She has grown up into a lovely young lady and I am very proud of her.

Jaymee is a blond haired, blue eyed girl, she is strong willed and knows what she wants and she doesn’t take nonsense from boys. I have taught her well, even if I have to say so myself. I can see the wild streak bubbling under the blond hair. I generally take her out and she spends the night with me. I love taking her out and she loves coming out with me. I can make sure that she is safe, and she can have fun, it is a win-win for both of us.

When I say I have a beautiful daughter, I don’t mean to brag and I am not being bias but she is stunning. She also looks a lot older than she is. All of this making it very scary! I know how well I have taught her and I know I can trust her, but I don’t trust men! I mean drinks get spiked at an alarming rate these days and horror stories go around weekly about young girls being abducted and the list of missing people just grows. Kidnappings are a massive problem and we are constantly warning about child trafficking. These are scary times to have children.

In these scary times we are living in how I even imagine that my daughter will be 18 soon and I will have to let her spread her wings a bit. After all she will be an adult. It actually feels completely unreal, Jaymee, an adult, seriously, where has all the time gone and how did she grow up so quickly? Feels like just the other day she was still little and playing with teddy bears and watching horrible Disney shows.

How scary it is to think that I am going to have to allow her to be an adult, give her the chance to make her own mistakes and hope that she doesn’t get hurt. Trusting her to make the right choices, allowing her to fall and giving her room to spread her wings and not expect her to have my baby sitting her all the way. I have a feeling that this is harder on me, just like Keegan’s first day of Grade 1. Taking him to school on his first day, bawling my eyes out to watch him run off to class in excitement at his first day of big school. I feel the same way now, I feel like I did on that day. Walking into the massive school gates and feeling that the school is far too big for my little boy! How was he even going to find his way around this massive school? Keegan loved school and just fitted right in. He found his way and didn’t even think about the size of the school. In the same way I know that Jaymee will find her way and be just fine. So, this is it, I must allow her some freedom and give her room to find herself (while chugging on a bottle of wine or maybe something even stronger).

Go out there my girl and remember everything I’ve taught you, and most of all have fun but be careful.